It turns out that in the aftermath of a negative incident, a moment of dysregulation for example when you scream at your kids, there is an opportunity to mitigate the effects and even turn it into something positive. Fascinating conversation with Dr. Becky Kennedy about how to repair the damage after you get in a fight, on today’s episode of the Ten Percent Happier podcast. Check out link in bio for the full episode. #repair #goodinside #DanHarris

Most of us, as you said, use moments of dysregulation to blame other people and beat the s*** out of ourselves. But actually, the reframe that I'm hearing from you is, oh, these are going to happen anyway. You might as well view them as an opportunity. Completely. Everyone yells. Everyone snaps. Everyone says the thing that's imperfect. We all do. And I think what I really want people, you know, to shift in terms of their perspective is rather than focusing on the kind of harmful impact of the event, to really, really be aware of the healing, powerful opportunity of the repair that can happen next. I think another way of saying that, I love Gabor Matei's way, he says trauma isn't the thing that happens to you. It's kind of what happens inside of you, right? And so parents, non-parents, we all can really focus on the event, on the moment. But in every relationship, it's actually more about whether that moment gets stored in our body next to aloneness and nobody talking about it or denial from other people or whether that moment gets stored next to connection and safety and love and explanation and understanding that actually determines the way the event gets remembered in our body.