It’s not conflict that drives people away—it’s neglect. Don't forget: Revenge of the Tipping Point has arrived. Order now. Link in bio!

If you're thinking about building organizations, structures, relationships, family, anything that keeps people engaged and happy over the long term, understanding that distinction, it is not conflict that drives people away. It is neglect. Thinking about the team I work with on my podcast, Revisionist History, for example, and I have a choice. Do I bring this up? Look, guys, we screwed up on this. This isn't good. Blah, blah, blah. Or do I let it slide? My personality is such that I often would let things slide. Otherwise, no, no, no, that's wrong. When I say to them, this isn't good work, and here's how it can be better, I am affirming to them that they are part of my team. And when I just shrug and say, oh, whatever, then they become superfluous, right? I have truly injured them in that moment. This idea that that's a lot of what effective management is implicitly ensuring subordinates that they belong, that you're part of the team, even if that's manifested as in terms of approbation or conflict, and that neglect is the enemy.