Stop Seeking Approval and external validation so you can embrace yourself- neuroscience edition #selfvalidation, #mentalhealth, #selflove, #youareenough, #relationshiptips #datingadvice #neuroscience

According to neuroscience, if you're somebody that seeks external validation, that is because you have an overactive default mode network, and that part of your brain is responsible for self-judgment and rumination. The default mode network kicks in when you're not focused on a task. So you're waiting for them to text you back. You're waiting for that phone call. You're lying in bed, replaying the situation and the text messages, waiting to see if this person's going to choose you or if you're going to be abandoned. And if your sense of self was built around needing that external validation, whether that be from insecurity or childhood, then that network lights up because there is a perceived rejection. This isn't just emotional, this is actually neurological. Your brain fills that silence with self-doubt. Then when there's no external input, your brain starts to create stories. Did I say too much? Was I too needy? Did I come off too much? And when you're not getting that reassurance, your brain literally goes against you. And it's not about stopping those voices, it's about interrupting the loop. Start to ask yourself, what am I needing right now that I keep hoping somebody else is going to satisfy? And what's true right now, not what I'm scared, is going to be true. So just because they didn't text you or respond back doesn't mean that they don't like you anymore. That's your fear. Okay, what am I scared of happening? I'm going to be abandoned or forgotten. Ah, so it's not actually about them, it's about your core beliefs being reaffirmed by their silence. Anchor yourself back in your body. I'm here right now, I am validated, and I am safe. Your worth isn't up for debate. Until you stop outsourcing it, your nervous system is going to keep playing these stories as if they're fucking true.