More hyperactive #ADHD/#OCD brain is the first guy. More inattentive ADHD/#autism brain is the second guy. Didferent levels of stress will lead to both, but Combined adhd oscillates between the two presentations. #attachment #goldenboy #scapegoat #fight #fawn #fawning #midlifecrisis #powerpoints #passivity #volcano

The sensitive boy who grows up with chaos and that feeling of being the object of disdain, you know, the boy that was given that look of utter contempt and disgust whenever he forgot to take out the garbage or failed the test, all because his parent used him as a receptacle for all of their insecurities, that sensitive boy's development will go one of two directions, usually around puberty, and that direction will depend on the brain that boy has, what his brain is capable of doing. The first possibility is he'll become angry, lash out, a protector of self, reactive volcano, angry depression with hidden anxiety underneath, chip on a shoulder with bosses, can't seem to take criticism, pretty reckless and doesn't, well can't take responsibility because of the pain underneath. That would be a straight ADHD-ish brain and he'll have a fight response and a false self that's a protector of self, and in middle age, that guy will find himself in a codependent relationship, knowing his partner needs and fears and is convenienced by him instead of loves him and vice versa, and he will have a midlife crisis that's marked by depression and if he has high enough cognitive ability, he'll run an empire and torch earth and people along the way, or if not, he will rotate through jobs and feel alive if he picks a fight or gets wasted one night, or if this boy's brain is more controlled and slows down during stress, he will internalize that pain and that wanting and the anger that he didn't get the acceptance that all kids deserve, he will adapt a fawn strategy, golden pleasing behavior underpinned by a frantic, don't be mad at me, don't be mad at me, he will become a denier of self and a pretender of self, so passive and so masked, whatever you want to do, he always has a smile on his face, that he will find himself with assertive, maybe even controlling friends, he might go so severely withdrawn at the slightest hint of conflict and be so without standards that he finds himself cheated on and baffled when it happens, or yelled at and then becoming so dissociative like a terrified animal, sleepless, ruminative, vigilant, in his head about whether or not others are satisfied with him or if they will devour him with a look, anxiety with a hint of depression, he may find himself with probably toxic work situations where he smiles and says thank you, may I have another, when he's asked to do powerpoints on a Sunday night, and with this one like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty or that guy in Office Space, he might awaken in some absurd way in midlife, buy that red Mustang or drain his 401k to buy a goat farm, but in real life, probably not, and that first guy with that first path will be told left and right, you need therapy, you need therapy, but not be told you need trauma therapy, and unlike the first guy, this guy isn't obviously ruffling feathers, his wife loves how he always apologizes first, and even if she's annoyed with his passivity, she loves that she gets to make all the decisions, so no one says, hey dude, trauma therapy and men's groups aren't just for war veterans, he just keeps slogging on, so this is a public service announcement for emotionally immature parents of sensitive kids, you deserve and you need support to end this cycle.