TikTok video #7440926397637430574

Men who grew up as the emotional support system for their mother tend to have a really hard time with emotions and avoid conflict at any cost. He will become a chameleon for his partner, and wear a mask for the people around him. He grew up as the peacekeeper, so anytime someone is upset, he usually takes responsibility for it and blames himself if they're not happy. It becomes incredibly difficult for him as an adult because he struggles to understand what he actually wants and execute on it. He battles with himself about feeling guilty for hurting them and doing what he actually wants. He also has a really hard time letting go of relationships, even if logically he knows he doesn't want them. This is a result of our self-worth being based upon the emotional stability of others. If we can make sure everyone else is okay, then we feel good about ourselves. But the second the people around us are unhappy or upset, we take responsibility for that, and suddenly, we see ourselves as not good enough. As an adult, we perpetuate the childhood wounding we experienced. So to heal this, we have to validate that inner child that had that experience and help him understand that other people's emotions are not his responsibility, and he will, of course, be okay if others are not happy and it's not his fault.