If you want to heal avoidant attachment and develop a more secure attachment style my private healing community opens Jan2nd. Spaces do sell out. Get your spot on the waitlist by clicking the link in my bio. Cost: $26/month

Here's what someone who's avoidantly attached wants you to know. Growing up, I never got safety or attunement. Instead, I was met with criticism or was completely ignored. So withdrawing is my survival mechanism. My nervous system goes into a flea response. I feel trapped often, and I think the solution to having intense emotions is to run away from them. I'm hypersensitive to criticism, and I view any conflict as a personal attack. I was never shown that people can grow closer together through healthy communication. I fear conflict so much, I don't speak up for myself. Until one day, I become so overstimulated that I shut you out. I blame you for this and struggle to see how it's my own fear of vulnerability. I feel smothered by your emotions and needs. No one showed me how to meet my needs, so meeting yours feels impossible. At one time, being dependent on someone was terrifying. Being hyper-independent gives me the illusion that I'm safe. Ironically, it only keeps us farther apart. I spent most of my childhood alone in my room. Being alone with no one to perceive me or judge me is the only place that I feel like I can be myself. Sometimes when I'm with you, I feel like all of my flaws are on display.