#parenting #dadsoftiktok #dad #daughter #emptynest #nature #river #dog #fall

I miss the laughter, the daddy-daughter dancing, the endless questions. I miss building forts out of couch cushions and sheets. I miss our fake baking show where we would make homemade chocolate pudding pies and brownies and cookies and pretend that we were Gordon Ramsay and all that action. They were my magical mini-muses, my grounding force in this wild, crazy existence. And now I'm left with the ghosts of our past escapades. Sadly, the echoes of their footsteps are kind of fading into the abyss of time. But such is life, I guess. It's a relentless forward march. I raised my bears to be fierce and independent women, to seize their destiny with both hands, and they've done just that. And I couldn't be more proud. Still, when the night comes and the world is so still that it feels like you could hear the stars thinking, that is when I miss them the most. Sadly, this chapter of my life is in the rear-view mirror, so I take walks or I order pizza. I make myself a chocolate Haagen-Dazs banana milkshake so I can do a toast, a sugary toast, to this beautiful, maddening journey of parenthood and just reflect on the love which is like a garden. I dig that. Every now and then I get random thoughts that I dig. Love is like a garden, filled with light and sorrow, where the flowers of joy and pain grow together, twisted. Beautiful and savage. Anyway, my life now echoes with a quiet I haven't known in 20 years. Because my little bears have taken flight, their wings full of sunlight carving dreams from the sky, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm walking here along this river with a heart that aches softly, like an empty hand reaching for what isn't there. I guess my midlife crisis is a mind heavy with memories, beautiful memories, and a heart that feels the weight of their absence. I wonder how many people can relate to this. It's like a silence without... It's like a night without a moon. To the daughters I love so very, very much, may you continue to fly high, and of course, always find your way back to your daddy's heart. Because I promise the homemade chocolate pudding pie will be waiting. As will I. Life is so random, and kind of hard to understand. But maybe that's just because I'm an idiot.