My favorite rebrandings that are straight-up lies.

These are my favorite times companies have rebranded stuff to just trick you about what you're getting. Chilean sea bass. This ugly dude used to be called the tooth fish, but then we ate most of the good fish, so they were trying to figure out a way to sell some of the uglier fish to us, and a dude came up with the idea of just calling this a sea bass, even though it's not. We do this all the time with fish. Red snapper used to be called hogfish, and it's not a snapper at all. For balance, though, sometimes they actually make the names more honest, like mahi-mahi used to be called dolphin fish, not a dolphin, and uni used to be called whore's eggs, and whores don't lay eggs. They give birth to live young. Other food things. Giving me less candy is less fun than giving me more candy, but they can just call it fun size, and I'm not allowed to sue. A combination pressure cooker and slow cooker is called an instant pot. That is not an instant. It should be called something's faster, something's slower pot, or like 45 minutes is pretty good for stew pot. Convection ovens are called air fryers now, even though frying means to cook in oil. Methane became natural gas. It's from nature. I bet the greenhouse gases don't count. Car companies changed the name of crossing a public space to jaywalking, so that if you get hit by one of their cars, it's your fault, dummy. But my favorite one is when they changed rayon to bamboo sheets. If you dissolve plant matter in toxic sludge to extract the cellulose, and then squirt it under high pressure through an acid, you can turn it into these thin, soft chemical threads called rayon. Like, yeah, there is technically some bamboo in bamboo sheets, but it's a fun-sized amount.