Episode 12: Corporate Bro featuring @Lucas Zelnick 📈🏢💰 #brooklyn #nyc #coffeeshop #williamsburg #bushwick #barista #comedy #corporate #manhattan #financebro

Yo, I need to do a group order for the team at work, so let's do it. What can I get you? Four cold brews, a low-fat no-foam cappuccino, and a caramel macchiato with half almond, half oat. We don't have any of that. Seriously? The team's gonna be pissed. It's not my fault you're bound by the shackles of corporate capitalist society. Could you just make me something similar? How about four matcha lattes? Oh, yeah, that's perfect, because I'm a Buddhist monk. Fine, let's just throw it on the fucking corporate card. That'll be $56.50. Seriously? We charge a $20 corporation tax. We do with the government shant. How long is this gonna take? Lockheed Martin is pretty impatient, as I think you know, from several global conflicts, and I'm trying to get promoted. Uh-uh-uh. We're not in the business of instant gratification. This isn't Nikki Beach, Saint-Tropez. Would you like to join our rewards program? After 10 stamps, you get a free copy of Marx's Das Kapital. And I don't know if you can read, but it looks like you need it. Can you give me a time estimate for how much this is gonna take? It'll be anywhere between 10 to 45 minutes. Time is a construct. Maybe you already have your matchas. Maybe you're late. Fine, just give me the powder. Bon voyage. Caffeine. It's an addiction. It'll get everyone. Okay, this place rocks.