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be careful we don't say be careful anymore instead say what's your plan here I don't even know my plan do you know your plan don't stop it's your sister don't say stop say gentle gentle what gentle hands gentle hands is gentle everything gentle everything I am so proud of you not supposed to tell kids you're proud of them anymore that's putting the focus on you what I'm so proud don't say that you should be so proud it's back on you again hurry up we gotta go rush we're fine don't rush it fine I thought we were in a hurry if you rush children it makes them anxious no hurry you always rushed us and I'm anxious never rushed you we were always late exactly and I was anxious because we were always late am I supposed to say that gentle this way good job good choice thank you no say good choice watch out do you feel safe here I don't feel safe about any of this