Internal monologue of the night

i don't think we were supposed to hang out this much. men and women. i feel like heterosexual relationships aren't doing well anymore because we've gotten a little too far away from the original plot. men used to go hunt and gather for long periods of time and you didn't have to see them and then they would go to war and they'd come home and be like you're like i made banana bread and you'd talk for a couple days and then they'd go off again. i feel like we need to get back to that a little bit. i don't want my boyfriend to be my best friend. i don't want him to watch love island with me. like go get a fucking job dude. like go build something with your hands. what are you doing here? i just think if we hung out less we'd be happier. i think i'm gay.