The produce aisle isn’t ready for him… Come see me on the road! Link in bio! #funny #jokes #comedy

I like to talk to people. There was another woman behind me in line. She had a watermelon. I look back and I go, hey, that watermelon's too big. She goes, how do you know? I go, because I'm looking at it. It's too big. She goes, you don't even know how many people it's for. I go, how many people is it for? She goes, eight. I go, yeah, it's too big. I go, you're going to get home. You're going to have it. You're going to quarter it. You're going to cut up a quarter. I'm like, oh, look, that's enough for everybody. Now you're stuck with three quarters of a watermelon. Maybe tomorrow you'll have that other quarter, but now you're stuck with a half watermelon. Nobody's eaten watermelon three days in a row. She was so mad at me. She goes, oh, yeah? Well, two days ago, my husband ate an entire pineapple. I go, he ate an entire pineapple? She goes, yeah, he did. And I go, you got to go get another watermelon. You out of your mind? This guy's sucking back pineapples. You're going to roll in with this? Get out of here.