Cherry tomatoes are one of the easiest and most forgiving plants in t...

If you take your fat ass down to Walmart, Lowe's, Home Depot, The Works, buy one 5-gallon bucket, one bag of garden soil, one $3 tomato, and one tomato cage. Drill holes in the bottom of your bucket. You get some variation of this. Dump your bag of dirt in. Take your little tomato out and nestle them in here, like that. Find the sunniest spot in your yard, drop them off. If you don't have a yard, put them on your balcony. Anywhere where he'll get at least six hours of sun a day. Put your tomato cage in. Very important to do while he's small. Give him a little bit of fertilizer. Any type works, doesn't matter. Give him a little bit of water. Give him more water every couple of days. By the end of June, you're going to have tomatoes. Let me know how it goes.